Robbie cannot forget that look of vulnerability and bewilderment. It is one he has never before seen on Chereen’s face. He can hardly wait for the waiters to clear the table so he can settle the bill and go searching for her. But what is he going to say? From where she was standing, it probably looked as if he and Sarah were having a little romantic interlude. Until a few years ago, he could easily date two girls and keep them both guessing about his level of commitment, but he cannot see the point of that anymore. He has to find Chereen.

At her home the doors are left wide open. No-one answers the bell, but Robbie doesn’t give up that easily and he eventually finds her in the back garden, pulling out weeds. The Ridgeback greets him enthusiastically.

“Seems like I need to fire Bacchus.”

“Hey, he doesn’t usually bark at his own godfather.” Robbie pats the dog on the back.

“Guess I wore him out on Friday.”

“What did you do to him?”

“You remember all those people who still owe me money months after I’ve done the work for them? Well, Bacchus and I paid them a little visit late Friday afternoon. It was surprisingly easy. We simply knocked on the door, reminded them about their debt, and then took the nearest TV and loaded it on my truck, with a ‘Thank you, I believe this belongs to me’.”

“Chereen, you can’t do that. You could get a criminal record.”

“But they opened the door for me. No forced entry. No violence… And it worked. When I checked my internet bank account today, except for one, all of them have paid the money that they still owe me.”

“OK, that explains all the TV sets in your lounge. And there I was thinking you’re extending your services.”

“I’ll take them back later today.”

“Chereen, I wanted to talk to you about me and – “

“It’s OK. You can do as you please. All the school boys have a crush on her – she’s very pretty. I just wish you told me earlier.”

“I know what it must have looked like today, but there really is nothing to tell.”

“Are you telling me that there’s something wrong with my eyes?”

“No…. Just keep in mind that when one walks into a conversation, you only see a split second –without any of the background that led to that specific moment of interaction. Yes, Sarah is very attractive, but –”

Robbie knows that it is now or never.

“She’s not you, Chereen.”

“What do you mean?”

“Around her I don’t feel like I feel around you. Like I’m coming home.”

“Well, that took you a while. And all along I had to hear about your Jamaican girl in London and your don’t-know-how-many girlfriends in –”

“Come here.” Robbie pulls her closer by the hips.

“I’m sorry it took me so long, but now I’m pretty sure I want to be right here with you.”

‘The Return’ is fictitious. Any resemblance to people or places in real life is purely coincidental.

At Saturday’s auction, most of the liquidated gym’s equipment is in a good enough condition for Robbie to bid on everything, and between him and Bob, they load their loot on the back of their bakkies and head back to Barrydale. There is nothing stopping Robbie now from opening his new space on 1 February. He can start advertising his membership deals.

Angela convinces him to apply for inclusion in the Receiver’s turnover tax system. His turnover will almost certainly be less than R1 million in the first tax year, which means that he doesn’t have to register for VAT. He estimates his annual turnover to be somewhere between R200 000 and R300 000. If this guess is correct, and his application for turnover tax is approved, he’d be paying only 1cent tax for every rand of turnover above R100 000.

Sunday morning Robbie and Chereen take their early morning run out on a farm track. When they cross a dry stream, Robbie nearly steps on a Cape cobra uncurling itself from a rock which he has disturbed. The glistening creature slithers away slow enough for them to admire it.

“Haven’t seen one of those in ages,” comments Chereen. “Beautiful.”

“And apparently spotting one is very auspicious – that’s according to my mom.”

“Maybe we should run along here every morning then!”

After a quick shower, Robbie meets Sarah for brunch at The Green Gecko. They discuss André’s matric a bit further and Robbie finally appeases her concerns when he mentions that André will be allowed to study at the gym’s reception desk during the quieter hours of the day. Robbie relates his experience with the cobra to her, but finds that Sarah doesn’t really share his admiration of snakes.

“You may have noticed that most people are not crazy about snakes. Poisonous, remember?”

“OK then, different folks, different strokes.”

“Speaking of, some of the older folks at church are – how shall I put it – a bit disappointed that the stretching exercises that they wanted to do at your gym, have turned out to be yoga-based. They seem a bit scared of anything coming from the East. I thought I’d just mention it to you.”

“Well, my mom is giving one pilates class per week as well. And if they’re willing to give the yoga just one try, she’ll explain to them exactly how each of the positions are benefiting their bodies. If anybody can handle this issue, it is Rose. Don’t worry. But thanks for warning me.”

Robbie squeezes Sarah’s hand reassuringly. As fate would have it, at that exact second Chereen passes the outdoor dining area of The Green Gecko with Bacchus, her Rhodesian Ridgeback, straining on its leash. Her smile freezes half-way when she sees Robbie and Sarah holding hands.

Tertius Steenkamp carries the posture of one who is always battle-ready. Years ago he was charged for the assault of one of his farm workers, but the case was eventually thrown out when none of the witnesses appeared in court to testify. He is pacing George’s office, torso pulled upwards and forearms flexed, when Robbie arrives.

“So, this is the monkey who wants to ruin my son’s life?”

“Robbie has only the best intentions for your son, Mr Steenkamp.” Sarah’s voice sounds thin and pleading.

“Now really, Miss Life Orientation, can we trust the judgement of someone who encourages a bright boy to leave school in his final year?”

“André had already made up his mind to leave school and start working when Sarah asked him about his plans for the future. The suggestion that he rather works for me was her attempt to keep him in his family home for another year, instead of him living and working somewhere in the city.” Robbie is surprised at how effortlessly this little white lie rolls from his lips.

“My son is not working here, in the city or anywhere else until he can write a decent qualification behind his name. He’s brilliant at biology and languages. He should become a doctor or a lawyer… I repeat what I’ve told George over the phone: the school can forget about my more than generous donation for the computer room if they don’t talk some sense back into that boy. And as far as you are concerned, Mr Gym Boy, I will make sure that you lose your job at the Co-op if you dare go ahead and appoint my son as your child labourer.”

George intervenes. “Tertius, can I ask you why it is so important to you that your son becomes a doctor or a lawyer?”

“That should be obvious. Because I want him to be somebody. Somebody people respect because he saves lives. Or keeps them out of jail.”

“And you don’t think he can be all of that by following the road that he’s chosen?”

“What? By staying in Barrydale as Tarzan’s little tree-house keeper?” Tertius’ snort is followed by total silence in the room. And then Robbie speaks.

“Mr Steenkamp, you have a choice as a father. You can either search for the smallness of what your son is choosing or look for the greater consequences that ripple out from André’s actions. You mentioned saving people’s lives. How many illnesses that doctors treat every day could have been prevented by a healthy lifestyle? By assisting people who want to exercise regularly this year, and then later in his career helping to reduce people’s stress in the hospitality industry, how many thousands of lives can he help to prolong? Same with keeping people out of jail. Stress, boredom and pent-up aggression all contribute to crime. Physical exercise or another type of positive leisure activity could be a great channel for otherwise destructive energies. I expect the boxing at the gym to make several teenagers a bit more level-headed, for example. But other than his value to society, he’d also be a much happier person, following his own road. He’s a brave boy, Mr Steenkamp. Brave to be different.”

For a few seconds no-one says a word. Then Tertius takes his farmer’s hat from George’s desk and reluctantly heads for the door. “Just make sure he passes matric this year, Gym Boy, or I’ll make your life hell.”

Sarah walks Robbie to the school gate, looking considerably more relaxed than a few minutes ago.

“Thanks for covering for me in there. I think we both know André never had any intention of going to work in the city, but you made me sound like a hero.”

“You are, for encouraging André to march to his own beat.”

“As if he needs encouragement! He told me he’s cooking an entire three-course meal for his family on Sunday. His attempt to get them all around the table and talk about his plans like civilized people.”

“Do you have plans for Sunday? Can I take you out for breakfast? There are a few new restaurants in town I haven’t even been to yet.”

“Sure. That sounds nice. Church should be done by 10am. You’ve got my number.”

It is Sarah, the pretty, blonde Life Orientation teacher at Barrydale High, who refers André to Robbie for an interview. André has just turned 18 and is supposed to finish school this year, but he has other plans. He wants to work full-time and complete his matric through an online campus, and in the process save enough money to start studying Tourism and Hospitality. His father refuses to pay for that particular diploma; he prefers André to study something more respectable – a degree which will lead him to eventually qualify as a high-earning professional.

Robbie takes an immediate liking to André. He is bright, outgoing, strong-willed and decisive, and displays no signs of being the spoilt son of one of the wealthiest men in the district (who Robbie also happens to know is one of the biggest clients of the Co-op). André has completed an advanced first-aid course and has tried his hand at almost every sport under the sun. He particularly excels at cycling, wrestling and boxing. It takes Robbie only two days to make up his mind and offer André the position at a salary of R2 000 a month, with the promise of increasing it to R3 000 as soon as he matriculates. André accepts immediately.

George phones Robbie the morning after the school committee meeting to share the news that they unanimously voted for the school hall to be used for boxing lessons by Robbie’s gym members. His father finds an ad online for a liquidated gym in Mossel Bay that is auctioning its almost brand-new equipment on Saturday. And Robbie’s second week at his new job passes quickly. He has figured out how the accounting system works and most days his work is done by 4pm. He is just about to leave when his phone rings. It is George again.

“Robbie, will you be free in an hour or so?”

“What’s the matter, George?”

“I’m afraid we’re in trouble. André’s father is not happy with his son working for you instead of completing school with us. He’s particularly annoyed that one of our teachers came up with the idea in the first place, and he’s now making all sorts of quite serious threats. I suggested that we all meet at 5pm in my office. Can you make it?”

“I’ll be right there.”

The January heat chases Robbie out of bed much earlier than usual. Angela’s shower is running next door. He rushes through his morning routine and decides to quickly walk over to The Royal Hotel and enquire whether Ben, the owner, has made a firm decision yet. Chereen is the last person he expects to find there early on a Saturday morning. She appears to be fixing the air-conditioning of the deserted spa area and looks embarrassed when she sees him.

“Hi. I’m fixing this thing for your new space.”

“How do you know it’s a done deal?”

“Ben phoned me last night to come and fix this up, so he can start letting the space to you. I said it’s on the house as long as he treats you well.”

“That’s very kind of you, but I’d actually prefer it if you would treat me better over the phone next time.”

“Oh Robbie, I feel terrible about yesterday. It’s just that you phoned right after I opened my bank statement to see that the usual suspects have still not paid the money into my account, as they keep on promising.”

“I could hear that something was wrong when you answered your phone. But that last bit about people in this town not needing a gym really hurt, Chereen. Did you mean it?”

“No, not at all! In fact, I know of so many school kids here who are dying to start the dance and boxing lessons. News spreads fast!”

“Does that mean that you’ll still do the coaching?”

“Of course. One dance class per week, one boxing lesson on Thursday nights and another on Saturday mornings. The dancing we can do inside the hotel chapel, same place as the yoga classes. For the boxing you probably need to ask George for the use of the school hall.”

“Thanks, Chereen. It’s a relief to know that you’re back on board. But please don’t talk to me again like yesterday, OK. I’m a sensitive type of guy.” Robbie attempts his best only half-joking tone of voice.

“Promise.”

“OK, let’s find Ben and get the details.”

Ben is even more enthusiastic about the old hotel spa area being transformed into a gym and they reach an agreement almost effortlessly: Robbie can rent the space six days a week, as well as the chapel for a few classes during the week, for R2 000 a month, as long as the hotel guests may use the facilities for free. And Robbie agrees to limit the number of full-time members to 100.

Robbie can now start to work out the anticipated cash flow of his business. If he charges adult members R200 per month, but learners and pensioners only R150, he can expect to earn between R16 000 and R18 000 per month from fees when running at full capacity. That’s excluding the cash from day visitors. On top of the fees, his monthly profit on health products could be anywhere between R2 000 and R5 0000.

On the expenses side his cash flow list looks like this: Rent R2 000; Manager’s salary R3 000; Telephone and electricity R1 500; Chereen for her boxing and dance lessons R1 800; Rose for her yoga and pilates classes R1 200; Loan repayment to his father R2 000; Cleaning R1 000; Advertising, stationery and sundry R2 000.

Angela has offered to do his bookkeeping for free for the first two years of the business, which Robbie accepted gratefully. He wanted to pay his mother more for her teaching, but she’s only willing to accept R1 200 per month, ostensibly because she does yoga every day anyway and doesn’t expect payment for it. With the loan from his father, he’d be able to buy the weights, treadmill, exercise bike, boxing bags, skipping ropes, yoga mats and a few other pieces of equipment.

While he stays on at the Co-op, this means long working hours for Robbie. The manager will only have to work from 8am to 5pm, Mondays to Fridays. Robbie will be at the gym from 6am to 8am and from 5pm to 8pm on weekdays, as well as Saturday mornings. Long days, but it can be done. He just needs to find the right manager.

What Robbie has always thought of as hell, turns out to be just another place where people crack a joke, exchange news, get frustrated, take a coffee break and then face their routine again. He has survived his first week in an office. He would not go so far as to say that he’s enjoying it, though. Fortunately, it’s only a six-month contract.

His last task for the day is to phone all the debtors who are slow to settle their accounts. From the long list, the name of Chereen Adams immediately catches his eye. He curses. If her account was still at 30 days, he might have been able to postpone this phone call, but it’s at 60 days this month. When she answers the phone, Robbie can hear that her fuse is very short.

“Chereen Adams.”

“Hi Chereen. Robbie here. Unfortunately, I’m not phoning as a friend today, but as an employee of the Co-op. It’s about your account…”

Robbie holds the receiver at arm’s length in an attempt to deflect the expletives that follow.

“You can tell the Co-op that they will get their money as soon as my clients finally pay the small fortunes that they owe me. And some of the worst culprits are friends and family of your colleagues – hypocrites! We don’t all have cushy jobs that pay salaries every month. The majority of people in this town make a living from hard, physical labour and don’t have spare energy to go and waste at a gym, for example. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do. ” The line goes dead.

When Robbie gets home, the place is unusually quiet. There’s no power in the house and no sign of Angela. Buying pre-paid electricity is one of his responsibilities in the house share arrangement and he has slipped up. He recognises the quick steps outside as his sister’s. She waves the vital paper slip in the air.

“I hope you’re not going to be this forgetful when you’re running the gym. People like classes to start on time and the aircon to be working when it should.”

“Sorry, Ange. I’ll put a reminder on my phone so it doesn’t happen again.”

“Robbie, I need to talk to you about something. It’s about Dad.”

“What about dad. Has something happened?”

“I’ve just been round to their place and Mom mentioned that their hospital plan won’t be paying for his chronic medication. Apparently they cover only certain chronic illnesses.”

“How much does the medicine cost?”

“More than a thousand rand per month. Look, I don’t want to interfere and I feel bad to tell you this. But, if you’re going to borrow money from Dad, please just make very sure that you can give Dad some kind of return on his capital after paying all your business expenses and writing a salary cheque for yourself. He’s going to need it.”

Has Chereen always had hips or are they new? Robbie thinks as his old buddy locks her front door and spontaneously waves at him as she turns around. She looks genuinely happy to see him and throws her arms around him as she lands her small, dark frame with a bounce on the passenger seat of his bakkie.

“Look who’s back in town! Finally tired of all those Cape Town sushi-nibbling, perrier-sipping skinny girls?”

“Not quite… but I sure missed my pasta-gobbling, beer-swirling training buddy.”

“You’ve clearly been away too long. I gave up beer for wine years ago. Much better for the heart.”

“Does it soften the hearts of beautiful lady mechanics towards their suitors too?”

“Oh, stop it!”

In all the years that he’s known Chereen, she has never had a boyfriend. Not that there were not many boys, and later men and even a few women, interested in her. But Chereen loves her independence and is perfectly happy with the way she spends her time. She takes great pride in her work and is known as one of the best diesel mechanics in the district. This means often working long hours in her father’s workshop before going for a run or pushing some weights. She’s not only boxing fit, but also has great rhythm, which makes her a natural dancer. Apparently she has become an absolute idol to many of the local school children.

It’s Saturday night and Robbie and Chereen have been invited to a spitbraai on Johan’s farm. Chereen and Johan weren’t really friends at school and that didn’t change over the years, but he invited her along as a friend of Robbie’s. Johan and Else are the perfect hosts and the conversation and good wine flow easily. After dinner Johan takes Chereen to admire his new generator and Else scribbles down her caponata recipe for Robbie.

“I guess Fanus has also contacted you about our investment money?”

From the look on Else’s face, Robbie can see that it’s not good news. “No. What about our investment money?”

“Oh no, don’t tell me you haven’t heard yet. He probably phoned your Cape Town number and sent the letter to your….”

“Heard what?”

“It’s all gone, Robbie. It seems like the high interest rate was too good to be true, after all. The curators are chasing the paper trail, but it doesn’t look like they’d be able to recover much of the money. Oh, Robbie, I’m sorry that you have to hear about it tonight. And I know that you’ve put all your savings in that scheme…”

Else keeps on talking but Robbie doesn’t hear her anymore. He feels nauseous and rather sits down again. All his capital for his new venture is gone. And he refuses to borrow from his father. It’s bad enough that he’s living with Angela. He doesn’t want to become completely dependent on his family. For Pete’s sake, he’s almost 31

“Robbie, I don’t know if now’s the right time to tell you. But there’s a vacancy at the Co-op for an accounts administrator. I know it’s not your field of interest or something that you would normally consider, but having been in the same accountancy class as you, I know that you’re a natural with bookkeeping. Why not apply for it? The position has been advertised for a while, but they have not been able to find the right person to date. Just to get you back on your feet until you start earning an income from your new gym.”

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‘Robbie, this town has been waiting for someone like you. I mean, we run around on the tennis court to keep the metabolism going, but it’s hardly enough. What we really need is a qualified trainer to keep an eye on us. Someone who can monitor our heartbeats and blood pressure and see that we do all the right types of exercises to keep us from turning into cholesterol-ridden bags of brittle bones. Also, someone who can make us stretch. My arms are getting shorter and shorter by the year! Pete, when was the last time that you could touch your toes without bending your knees?’

‘Molly, what are you talking about? You’ve been married to me for almost 40 years. You know that I’ve never been able to touch my toes.’

‘Well, then we’re in even greater trouble than I thought.’

The market research at the tennis club is revealing a pattern to Robbie. The younger tennis players mostly want some variety in their workout, with the women asking specifically for aerobics and dancing, and the men for weight training, an exercise bike and a treadmill. A few women with small children have also enquired about pilates. The older tennis players want someone who can keep an eye on their general health and a place where they can do some gentle exercises and stretching. So far, fifteen people have indicated that they definitely want to join his club and R200 a month seems to be the most that anyone is willing to spend on membership fees.

Over the next week Robbie makes an effort to speak to as many people possible. At the retirement village there are twelve people who are willing to pay no more than R150 per month for regular group exercises and stretching. Many of the elderly also express the need for affordable massages, for which they are willing to pay extra. The hotel and guest house owners consistently mention yoga as the gym or studio activity most frequently requested by guests, especially by visitors who come to walk the labyrinth.

A few days before the local school closes for the summer holiday, Robbie asks the teachers to find out what the school children would enjoy in addition to the athletics, netball and soccer that the school is offering. There’s an overwhelming plea for dance lessons, and several boys and surprisingly many girls want to take boxing lessons as well. Robbie is quite charmed by Sarah, the young and very blonde Life Orientation teacher, and has just established that there’s no ring on her finger when George, the principal, asks to have a quick word with Robbie.

‘Robbie, how is it being back in Barrydale?’

‘Hmm, perhaps it’s too soon to say something like this, but I really feel like I’ve made the right decision.’

‘I’m glad to hear that. This town needs more young adults, especially good role models for the kids. From what the teachers are telling me, the learners are very excited about your new gym. Do you have a venue in mind yet?’

‘No, that’s a big part of the puzzle that’s still missing.’

‘That’s what I wanted to talk about. Our school hall is largely underutilised and could easily double as a gym. But before I suggest the idea to the board, I wanted to first check with you whether you would be interested in the venue at all. We would still need the space on Monday mornings from 8 to 9, for a few weeks at the end of the year for the exam sessions and a few nights for events like the matric farewell and the prize-giving, but the rest of the time it could operate as a gym. We could either charge you rent or you could offer the learners gym membership at a, say, 50% discount. How does that sound?’

Robbie’s gut feel is telling him ‘no’. Sharing the space with a school sounds chaotic to him. And it’s definitely not the kind of space that would appeal to out-of-town visitors, who are most likely to become his premium, high-profit clients. Yet, there may still be a way in which he and the school can work together. He needs more time to think. And declining George’s offer during the first discussion seems rude.

‘Well, thanks for the trust, George. It’s still very early days for me. Would it be possible to think about your offer and get back to you?’

‘Sure, take your time. The next board meeting is on the second Monday night in January.’

Bob McLaren will describe himself as a no-nonsense kind of guy. He listens politely when Rose talks about transformation, enlightenment and who knows what else, but deep down he thinks she just complicates things. At the end of the day, humans need other humans to live for, that’s what he believes. And he counts himself particularly lucky to have Rose by his side and two children of whom he’s incredibly proud, not because of their achievements, but because of their ability to give and receive love.

Although he doesn’t have any regrets about his life’s work, researching the medicinal value of the plants of the Karoo, tonight Bob suddenly wishes he could be Robbie’s age again. After seventy years, all his habits and the specific directions in which he has channelled his energy have left prominent trails in his mind, and he is unlikely to just walk into the veld of endless possibilities. For Robbie things are different. His foot paths are still slight and his energy is sufficient to explore many different routes that may either turn out to be dead-ends or lead to great accomplishments. Hopefully both types of routes will provide him with memorable experiences.

Bob really wants to be part of Robbie’s next venture in a way that will not make Robbie feel that he’s taking over. He waits until Rose and Angela disappear into the kitchen before he makes his proposal. “Son, I have no idea what your resources look like, but if you need some financing, I could lend you R100 000 interest-free. And you don’t need to pay me back before your business is up and running and generating some cash flow.”

“Thank you, Dad. But I have some money left from those two years of working in London. I should be alright, I hope.”

“You don’t have to decide tonight. You probably don’t even know yet how much capital you will need. Think about it. My offer stands.”

Robbie doesn’t quite know who his mother is anymore. At school he thought of her as a pastoriemoeder without a parsonage. When she wasn’t forming new book, bridge or tennis clubs, she was organising weekly art, cooking or writing lessons and anyone interested could join in. It helped that their old home had such a spacious kitchen and lounge area. But when there were too many people, they simply gathered in the lush garden. While his father pursued the next scientific breakthrough, often in solitude, his mother was weaving a large part of the community together in a net of shared appreciation for one or more of the creative and fun activities that interested her.

Then, after he and Angela left the house, it was as if she became more private, even secretive. She started going on spiritual retreats and every time she came back her eyes seemed clearer, but focused on something behind this reality. New and interesting symbols started to appear in her paintings. Now she still plays bridge and tennis and goes to a friend’s house every morning for yoga, but part of her large social life has made way for a rich inner world. Robbie suspects that she already knows that he’ll be staying a little longer this time, even though no-one has told her this yet.

In the glow of the fire his mother looks half her age. Sitting next to his father, her upright posture is even more pronounced and in the flickering light the grey in her hair blends into the last remaining blonde strands. It is a clear, quiet Karoo night with the afternoon heat still rising from the clay earth as tangible as breath on the skin.

His mother’s voice is as clear as the night sky. “When the road forks, we are often only concerned with what lies in the different directions, forgetting to first establish what lies within us. Goals are extremely helpful and will help you to speed up your decision-making along the way. But sometimes the goals are set by a ‘false self’, in which case the realising of each goal could leave you feeling empty, unfulfilled. In my experience, it is only by delving deeper and revealing the true self that we become authentically successful.”

“Oh Mom, leave Robbie in peace. He doesn’t have time to take a trip to India and find himself. He has a business to launch. Rather give him a hand with his market research.”

“Angela, who said anything about a trip to India? And I’m not implying that Robbie ‘lost’ himself. All I’m trying to say is that now is a good time to spend some time and energy on looking inward. How he decides to do that is up to him. And of course I’ll help him with his market research. We can start at the tennis club.”

Robbie suddenly remembers why he doesn’t spend every week-end with his family. He has become the little boy again and his mother and Angela are talking about him like he isn’t actually there. Where has the 30-something man, the one who has been taking care of himself for several years in Cape Town and London, gone?

“Um, ladies, you may be glad to know that I have only one very important goal for tonight, and that is to get these lamb chops well done and on your plates. Everybody ready to eat?”

Angela smiles and nods enthusiastically. Robbie manages to briefly catch a glance from his father, who has been unusually quiet all night. What he sees in his eyes, surprises him. It resembles envy.

Despite all the colourful restaurants that have transformed Barrydale into a well-stocked pantry for tired travellers, about 20% of the population is still unemployed. At more than one street corner Robbie meets a few curious stares from people who appear grateful for the brief interruption of their daily loitering. The sky is a clear and optimistic shade of blue, but today only the purposeful and the type A personalities will escape the lethargy that accompanies the afternoon heat

A few blocks from Angela’s place, the gallery sports a fresh coat of paint and some striking landscape art in its garden, and across the road a few men are defying the scorching sun to build what looks like more tourist accommodation. Perhaps these people are the only fools who have not yet heard that the world economy has screeched to a halt. But Robbie finds himself drawing courage from all the signs of new life.

“Do you still drink Windhoek?” He knows his sister is not much of a beer drinker and the fact that she has stocked up on his favourite brand instantly makes Robbie feel at home. “What would you have done if I didn’t?” he teases. “Send you to the main road with a cooler box to sell them off and pay for your rent,” she answers mock stern. She pulls up an extra kitchen chair, crosses her long, tanned legs over the seat and throws back her auburn curls to take a swig straight from the bottle. Working from home, her office gear is not much more than a pair of skimpy shorts and a loose cotton shirt this time of the year, but he knows that under her casual demeanour lies a super-organised professional whom many local businesses trust with their shoe boxes full of invoices.

To postpone the inevitable discussion about his plans for the future, he rather asks about Angela’s year. “Same old, same old. Still haven’t won a farmer’s heart or any prizes for my milk tart at this year’s agricultural show,” she pretends to sulk. “Just let me know if I can make myself useful and eliminate some of the competition for you,” he offers.

After a few minutes’ banter, he dares to share his thoughts with his sister. “I’m thinking of opening a business around here, something to do with health or fitness. What do you think will work best?” She looks delighted. “That’s great news! But rather than me and you dreaming up something here, why don’t you start asking around about people’s needs and then see if you can meet them?” Robbie’s not crazy about the idea of other people dictating the nature of his business. “Sounds like hard work. I wouldn’t even know where to begin. What if the greatest need is for pole dancing or something? Where would that leave me?” Angela laughs and plays along, “If that’s the result of your market research, you could always use your connections in Cape Town to deliver a service.”

Robbie can feel himself changing colour briefly as he remembers some of his more interesting nights out on the town, but Angela’s announcement interrupts his pleasant thoughts. “Mom and Dad are coming over for a braai a little later. Maybe you want to dig out my 30 seconds or run the risk of Mom unpacking her Tarot cards for you instead!”

This is where everything changes, Robbie thinks, as his bakkie crosses under Montagu’s Old English Fort and the towering red cliffs welcome him. If he was superstitious, he would have said that he’s just stepped into another spirit’s domain. And this spirit is very different from the one that rules the space where he’s coming from, stretching all the way back to the city of Cape Town. It makes people act differently too. To Robbie this is where the Karoo starts. Home.

He has every reason to be in a foul mood today but he’s not. Not only did he lose his job this month, but he also played really terrible pool last night. That he lost most of his games shouldn’t come as a surprise, though. He always struggles to focus when there’s a big decision looming at the back of his mind. Or when he feels that his life is in limbo, without direction or purpose. That’s why he hasn’t turned the radio on even once during the trip. He needs to think.

He is now on the section of Route 62 that winds between the Keisie River and the lime stone formations that make this part of the world very popular with rock climbers. The sharp bends make it impossible for drivers to know what lies ahead.

A month ago, when the news broke that The Gym would be closing down due to tough economic times, his initial reaction was to panic. After five years of working for them, he would probably not receive much severance pay, if any. Then he remembered how restless he had been feeling lately. Does he really want to be an employee for the rest of his life? Is there not something else that he could do that would have a greater impact on other people’s lives? When he started studying bio-kinetics years ago he never realised he’d end up in a gym explaining to people why they have to pay for replacement membership cards. All he wanted was to be in a sporty environment with other people who also wanted to stay fit and healthy.

Then there’s also that other feeling: ‘home-sick’ will have to do for lack of a better word. Barrydale is small enough for almost every kid to dream of leaving it behind one day, but Robbie has been feeling a strong current pulling him back to his hometown for several years now. His parents, his sister and two of his best friends still live there. Surprisingly, it seems as if it’s the place rather than the people that’s calling him back. Yes, he appreciates the city and all its opportunities, its nightlife and all the pretty and unattached girls. And as an attractive guy who looks after his body, he has had more than his fair share of the action. It’s just that all the girls, all the nights out, all the parties are starting to look the same to him now: empty. Since he’s turned 30 he suddenly needs more space, a dog, a backyard and a whole new lifestyle.

So, when Angela offered him a room in her seventies-style three-bedroom house in Barrydale, he immediately accepted. “Come and ruffle my feathers before I develop a few incurable spinster habits,” she only half-joked. Unlike him, his sister actually completed her degree and became the bookkeeper of almost every business in and around Barrydale. Like him, she is also in her thirties and still single. It’s been almost 10 years since her fiancée, a farmer in the area, and the one for whom she returned to the Overberg, tragically died. She seems content with her own company, but he still wishes she would meet someone who could make her laugh like Danie did.

Robbie is so lost in thought that he almost forgets to slow down on entering Montagu. There is a big 4×4 adventure trail on that week-end according to a sign next to the road. It seems like all the participants decided to stop at the R62 restaurant at the same time. Robbie wonders about the feasibility of running a business in the Overberg. Is there really a big enough market? What happens to your business when tourism slows down, as seems to be the case in the country currently? If he has to open a business around here, which type of business would he choose?

Stick to what you know, he’s heard people say. It’s difficult to picture a place like The Gym in the Karoo, though. Too much loud music and too many mirrors, Robbie thinks. But what about something like a healing centre? Isn’t this the area where the first people of the land harvested their medicinal herbs? Robbie’s mind starts to tick faster and faster and he is glad to exchange Montagu’s 60km/h zone for the open road again.

Next stop Barrydale.

What do bottomless coffee, a public love affair and a digital camera in the bathroom have in common? They are all examples of the type of low-cost strategies that Mike Said uses to step up sales.

Mike was the one who introduced the idea of bottomless coffee to a well-known South African franchise. “It’s not how much value you add, but how much value you are perceived to add,” he believes. It costs only a few cents to provide customers with top-ups, but coffee addicts feel like they’ve entered nirvana. “It may seem crazy for a coffee shop to give its coffee away, but while the customers are sitting at your tables, they see waiters carrying delicious plates of food past them. And those dishes are yours, not your competitor’s.”

Also, don’t underestimate the power of intrigue. While owning a restaurant in George, Mike started running a small ad in the classifieds, reading Would you like to meet me for dinner at Mike’s on Friday night 8pm? Dave And a week later, Thanks, Cindy, that was incredible. Shall we do the same this coming week-end? Mike’s again. It wasn’t long before he had customers asking him about the ‘affair’ and whether the couple was indeed in the restaurant that night.

It is crucial to adjust your marketing strategy to your market, though. The patrons of a coffee shop seek a very different experience from the clients of a plumber, for example. Few people know what their home’s plumbing actually looks like or are at home while the plumber is fixing it. It’s therefore often difficult for them to tell whether the amount of value added justifies the size of their bill. For these types of service providers Mike recommends documenting the work procedure with a digital camera and including a few photographs with the invoice.

And above all, Mike reminds all small businesses that customers happily hand over their money to those who can make them feel happy.

Does it sometimes feel like you’ve earned less on your investment than the figures quoted by the insurer or the investment company? Chances are good that – from your viewpoint and using the calculation methodology that you’re familiar with – you did actually earn a different rate from the published return.

Are the investment companies cheating? No. In more mature industries (like ours) performance reporting is standardised and well audited. But in order to publish standardised figures, they can’t reflect the idiosyncrasies due to the fact that investors:

• time their contributions and withdrawals diffrently;
• negotiate different types of intermediary fees with their planners.

When they publish a 5-year return, for example, they’re assuming you invested a lump sum on the first day of the period they’re measuring, that you remained fully invested over the five years, and that you didn’t sign a debit order or added to your investment on an ad hoc basis. Also, they look at the incoming investment money from their viewpoint. In other words, if you invested R100 000, of which R2 000 was commission, you’ve only invested R98 000 on their books.

More relevant to you, and also the more accurate measure – catering for every investor’s unique scenario – is the actual annualised return a.k.a. the internal rate of return (IRR) on your cash flows. This methodology looks at all your cashflows and then determines what annualised effective interest rate a zero-cost bank account had to pay on your contributions to leave you with the same investment balance as the insurer or investment company’s pay-out at the end of your investment term.

Want to calculate the IRR on your investment but don’t know how? Don’t worry, our What Did I Actually Earn? calculator will do it for you.

Interest rates are low by South African standards, and investors with spare capital or borrowing power may be tempted to dive straight into the buy-to-let property market. Because you can’t go wrong with property, right?

It is to test sweeping statements like the above, that we’ve designed the Return on Property calculator to work out the expected long-term returns on your investment under different assumptions. This tool allows you to choose the bond rate, increase in rental income, increase in property maintenance costs and capital growth on your property that you think is realistic.

If you need help to complete the second input field of the calculator, relating to transfer and bond registration fees, you can download the The Real Price of a Property tool for a good estimate of up-front costs.

Just remember that the Return on Property calculator does not account for your unique tax situation.

Happy investing.

When I just started working, I was amazed at how so many of my colleagues could bend their knees under the weight of a boulder of a bond just to own a home. The few of us who rented definitely had more spare cash to enjoy every month. Until someone pointed out (what should have been obvious) to me what happens to your rent at the start of every year and continues to do so for the rest of your life, while your home loan instalment stays fairly stable for 20 years and then disappears.

Our Renting or Buying a Home calculator illustrates this point. Yes, we’re not comparing apples with apples here, as rent is an expense with no reward other than a roof over your head for a month, while your bond repayment is an expense linked to the reward of owning a property somewhere in the future. But the calculator can show you instantly:

• how your rent will increase over the years
• the instalment on a bond amount that’s appropriate to your level of income
• the up-front costs associated with a property purchase

(If you don’t want to purchase such an expensive property as the amount for which the calculator shows your income may qualify, our The real price of property calculator allows you to enter your own amounts for the price of the property and the amount of the bond that needs to be registered.)

Many disciplined investors don’t buy the ‘as safe as houses’ investment adage, though. They prefer to rent for the rest of their lives (or until they have saved up a large enough deposit) and invest the amount by which a bond instalment exceeds the rent that they are paying.

If you download the Renting or Buying a Home calculator, you’ll see it will take approximately 12 years before inflation causes rent of R4 000 per month to catch up with a bond instalment on that same property worth, say, R940 000 (Cape Town prices). That’s assuming that the bond applicant earned R30 000 p.m. to qualify for a 100% home loan at the bond rate of 10%, and that rent increases by 7% per year.

In the scenario above, the tenant investor will therefore have excess money to invest over 12 years. By ‘excess’ we mean the difference between what her bond repayments would have been and the rent she actually paid. If she invested all the money that she saved by not buying a property, including the up-front costs related to the property transfer and bond registration, and that investment yielded 11% per year after tax, she can expect her investment amount to be worth more than R1.1 million after 12 years.

But there are other expenses which the calculator does not show. Tenants normally do not have to pay maintenance and rates and taxes, which could be substantial. Let’s assume these additional ‘homeowner costs’ start at R20 000 per year and increase by inflation of 6% per year. Because our disciplined tenant investor did not have these expenses, she could have invested these amounts in the same place where she earned 11% per year after tax, and these accumulated amounts would have been worth approximately R600 000 after 12 years. That leaves her with a total investment lump sum of about R1.7 million after 12 years of renting and diligently investing all the money that she saved by not having to pay bond instalments, the up-front fees of a property purchase, rates and taxes or maintenance.

It may look as if tenants have a point – until you look at what a home owner’s property may be worth after 12 years. If we assume that the capital value of property grows at 7% per year, the R940 000 property should be worth just over R2.1 million after 12 years.

This is a very specific scenario, and by changing a few assumptions or by choosing a very specific investment term, we could make either the tenant or the homeowner look like the cleverer of the two. The important points to remember are:

• Think long-term when you make a financial decision.
• Understand all the risks and future expenses associated with your decision.
• Don’t underestimate the power of either inflation or compounded investment returns.
• Be careful of sweeping statement. Do the calculations.

  

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Last year almost one million taxpayers did not submit a tax return because they earned less than R120 000 during the year. While many of these employees rightly rejoiced in the fact that they may stay below SARS’s radar, others sadly missed out on a welcome cash-back from the taxman. How can this be?

Employees who earn less than R120 000 per year, have a single employer, pay PAYE and have no additional income or deductions other than those on their tax certificates, do not have to submit a return. Unfortunately, many taxpayers are not aware that they have tax-deductible expenses that do not appear on their certificates. By not filing a return, they never inform SARS of the additional deductions and miss their refund. Their employers, unknowingly, have paid more tax on the employees’ behalf than was necessary.

There are many deductions that are outside the employer’s field of vision, but the most relevant ones are private retirement fund contributions, donations and medical expenses.

If the employer is unaware that the employee is contributing to his own retirement annuity (RA), for example, the deductible portion of the RA premium would not appear on the employer’s tax certificate. The deductible amount varies, depending on the size of the employeeís salary, and whether he’s also contributing to an employer fund, but the employee should be able to deduct at least R1 750 of his RA premium from his taxable income.

Donations to public benefit organisations (section 18A) can also be deducted, up to an annual limit. Many schools and churches are registered as section 18A organisations – you may be surprised at how the taxman rewards your generosity towards these institutions.

Wishing you something back at the end of this filing season!

I don’t know a single person who doesn’t enjoy getting something back from the taxman at the end of the year. But some prefer to stay as far below the taxman’s radar as possible – by not registering as tax payers or by not submitting a tax return. If you are one of these, you could be shooting yourself in the foot and robbing your own household of extra cash in the bank. Let’s look at a few scenarios where registering as a taxpayer or submitting a tax return could benefit either the household and/or the taxpayer.

In the first scenario a spouse is employed by the husband or wife’s business. The husband may be officially retired according to SARS’s records, but in reality receiving a salary – off the record – from the cash earnings of his wife’s business for administrating or supervising part of the business. The husband doesn’t want the hassle of submitting a tax return every year and has convinced his wife, the owner of the business, to not disclose his salary to SARS. Other than the fact that the non-disclosure of income is an illegal action, the husband could also be robbing his own household of after-tax earnings. In which circumstances would this be the case?

If the husband’s salary is disclosed in the business’s books, the business would be entitled to deduct that salary from its income, which results in a lower taxable income and less tax payable by the business every year. Even if the employee spouse now has to pay tax, that amount would be exceeded by the tax saving of the employer spouse in all circumstances where the employee spouse’s tax rate is lower than the employer spouse’s tax rate. The household (the employer and employee as a combined entity) will therefore be left with more after-tax income by disclosing the salary.

There are a few administrative hassles, though. In the scenario above, the wife would have to register with Revenue as the employer of the husband and contribute 1% of his salary to UIF every month and the husband will also sacrifice 1% of his salary (capped at R125 per month) to UIF. If the salary exceeds the 2009/2010 tax thresholds (R54 200 for persons under the age of 65 and R84 200 for those above 65) the wife would also have to deduct PAYE and/or SITE from the salary. If the husband earns less than these thresholds, he would not have to be registered as a taxpayer with SARS, but the business still enjoys the tax relief of deducting his salary from its taxable income.

To prevent businesses from abusing the potential tax relief associated with employing spouses, the Income Tax Act stipulates that only the payment for services by a spouse that truly contributes to the trading income of the business may be deducted as business expenses. The Act also specifically prohibits the deduction of any domestic or private expenses. In the scenario above, it would therefore not be possible for the wife to deduct payment to the husband for moving the lawn of their private residence or for managing their household chores. Excessive salaries will also raise a flag with SARS. If you pay your spouse a salary that is higher than the going rate in the market for similar services, SARS may disallow that business deduction.

But if you are truly employed by the business and paid a market-related salary, disclosing your income could be a relatively easy and painless way to leave you, as a couple, with significantly more after-tax income at the end of the year.

On 31 August 2009 trading starts for the fifth Make a Million competition. Last year, instead of buying actual shares for their competition portfolios, entrants had to buy single stock futures (SSFs) for the first time – a slightly more complicated and riskier game.

Buying an SSF does not mean buying the share; it means buying exposure to the share price movement. Because you don’t have to deposit the full value of the shares you’re interested in, a little money can go a long way – or really burn you if the price moves in the opposite direction than you thought it would!

How does an SSF work? You normally deposit about 15% (called margin deposit) of the amount that the shares would have cost you, but enjoy full exposure to the share movement. For example, if the shares are worth R10 000 when you buy your SSF contract and the share price subsequently increases by 10% (R1 000), your 15% (R1 500) margin deposit will yield a R1 000 profit – a return of 67%. But if the share price falls by 15%, for example, you lose your entire margin deposit – a negative return of 100%. If you need more examples, have look at my previous blog on how an SSF works.

How does buying SSFs differ from building a long-term, traditional share portfolio? With an SSF account:

• You could lose more than your capital when the share price falls quite sharply. (You may want to set up a stop-loss with your position to prevent this from happening.)
• You could leverage your profits, as you need to deposit only a fraction of the value of the underlying shares.
• You are usually less concerned with the business fundamentals of a company, as you could have lost either your margin deposit or your patience long before you see the true value of the company reflected in its share price. SSFs are more suitable to share traders than long-term investors.
• It’s easier to short a share. (Shorting is selling a share that you don’t own with the idea of buying it later at a lower price and making a profit.) If you believe that the share price is going to fall, you can just instruct your broker that the SSF contract is a short position.
• You generally pay lower brokerage.

And how does playing the Make a Million competition differ from holding a normal SSF account with a broker? Well, in exchange for standing a chance to win that million, you need to put up with a few restrictions:

• You can only deposit R10 000 per competition entry, of which R9 000 is used as your margin deposit and the remaining R1 000 acts as an additional buffer which earns interest. Nothing stops you from opening several accounts, though.
• Unlike a normal SSF account, you cannot deposit extra funds into a Make a Million account. When you have lost your margin deposit due to the share price falling, you are out of the game.
• You cannot keep your position open after the last day of the competition. Before the close of trading on 13 November 2009, you need to have only cash and no more share exposure in your Make a Million account. With a normal SSF account you could continue your exposure for as long as you please and just roll the 3-month contract over from one quarter to the next.

SSFs are great instruments for those stock market players who want to gear up their capital seven-fold and don’t mind losing that capital when they make the wrong call.